Last October 11th, I posted my Kinsey number as my facebook status.

I'm about a 5. 

I suppose this makes me ambisexual, but I've started using the "G" word this year to see how it feels. And, if I'm being completely honest, I'm actually not that into dudes at all. (Being an almost 5 means that I wouldn't exactly *rule them out* it's just that they would rarely, if ever be my first choice.)

In any case, yesterday I was dicking around on the web and remembered this movie that contained a fairly explicit love scene that featured Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve.

It was TOTALLY WORTH IT. 

...even though I guess they were vampires that tried to eat each other, whatever. That part's not important. 

I couldn't sleep afterward. Not because my bathing suit area was abuzz, I just....kinda kept wondering what a homosexual relationship would be like not seen through the hetero-male gaze. (I'm sure a lot of queer ladies have this same feel.) I have zero wrong with a lot of hetero dudes as individuals, but the whole notion that society caters to them is a little off putting. Another lengthy discussion for another day, I suppose. (On another note, I also would like "HEY, HEY EVERYONE, A GAY PERSON WAS INVOLVED IN THE MAKING OF THIS!!!1!1!!!!" to be the only reason people care about it. Basically what I'm saying is that I want homosexuality not to be a niche genre, and have it be embraced by mainstream hollywood how I see it: AS NOT A BIG FUCKING DEAL.)

The Hunger was a beautiful, beautiful movie experience. The story was a bit convoluted, but it was one of those rare instances where everything else being so jaw-droppingly stunning made up for it. Props to the art director, and whomever edited it, you guys seriously rock. Double props to Dan Hedaya's hair stylist.

No, triple props. 

Forgive me for being tangential, but I f*cking love Dan Hedaya. Dude's in every movie, and I'm never surprised to see him!

With all of that out of my system, I've been listening to this Blossom Dearie remix the last few days. I'd had this thought before watching The Hunger, then proceeded to have it more intensely after watching it. Before I wrecked my moped Nino, I kept having these thoughts like, Damn, I really want to do the end of Amelie with someone. (Hence why my moped is called Nino.)  Before I even got my moped Nino, I was listening to this song and the last few seconds of it just seem like pure bliss. Heaven on earth. The buildup to it is great, so make sure to listen to the whole song.

I asked a question on my tumblr a million years ago about favorite movie romances, because the end of that song to me is just...the part of the movie where the two leads finally get together. I had intended on making a quick montage of best romances that sort of whirlwinded together at the end of the song but gave up on it because it seemed like too much work.

I can't get over imagining everyone on Nino, with their "finally worked out" lover riding through the streets of wherever with the wind blowing their hair out of the way....even if they *are* vampires trying  not to eat each other.

I would be remiss if I didn't also mention that I've been daydreaming off and on about my current crush and I doing this as well.

That's life though, right?

 Happy gayballs!

-Mac

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:3